


Things you said too quietly

by DaydreamDestiel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-16
Updated: 2016-04-16
Packaged: 2018-06-02 15:18:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6571297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaydreamDestiel/pseuds/DaydreamDestiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on a prompt by anon "destiel, things you said too quietly"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Things you said too quietly

“I don’t want you to go.” Cas mumbled quietly under his breath, and Dean tilted his head to the side curiously, he hadn’t made out what exactly Cas had said.

“What was that?” Dean asked.

“Nothing.” Cas answered with a sad sort of smile that just tugged at Dean’s heart in a way he didn’t want to investigate all that closely.

They were sitting in Cas’s room, spread out on his bed after school, just like they’d done a hundred thousand other times. Dean had met Cas on the first day of seventh grade, and the two of them had been inseparable ever since.

Five years later and they were both making plans for graduation and college, and everything felt so heavy and laden with the promise of change. It was scary as fuck to think that this time next year neither of them would be sitting on Cas’s bed, studying, or talking, or watching a movie.

Today though, it was a pile of university pamphlets and brochures spread out in between them, and Dean had just mentioned in an off-handed way that maybe he’d like to get in to a west coast school. Something about being closer to the ocean seemed appealing, but he hadn’t really been considering it that seriously.

It’d mean being too far away from Sam and Mary and John and that’s when it had sort of hit him, that even if he chose a local school, Cas might not. And if that thought should have occurred to him sooner, well, it hadn’t and it was hitting him really _fucking_ hard, like a kick to the gut, and he _really_ didn’t want to examine why he suddenly had an ache in his chest that was making it difficult to breathe.

Sure, Cas was his best friend, but should you really have this kind of a visceral reaction to just the idea that your best friend might not go to the same university or be in the same town as you? It didn’t feel like the overwhelming melancholy that was washing over him was the normal sort of reaction to that.

If it was Jo, or Charlie, or even Benny that he was having this conversation with would he be struggling to keep his breathing even, and his hands from fisting on his thighs?

“What about you?” Dean asked trying not to let the panic that was creeping up on him seep into his voice.

“I dunno.” Cas murmured, shrugging a shoulder despondently.

He could barely look at Dean right now without wanting to blurt out all of the feelings he’d been burying for the last five years, but Dean was his _friend_ , and Dean didn’t think of him that way, so it didn’t matter that Cas was in love with him and would follow him anywhere, because how fucking creepy would that sound?

Cas knew there was a huge likelihood Dean would stay in Kansas, he’d always been close to his family, and Cas kind of doubted that he’d have it in him to move half-way across the country on his own. But even just the flippant comment he’d made about the coast had started a ball of tight anxiety coiling itself around Cas’s chest, because all this time, he’d never said anything to Dean about the way he felt.

He never said a thing or let anything show, though he was sure it leaked through now and then, but he kept it under control because he hadn’t wanted to lose what they _did_ have. And now, here he was, about to potentially lose it anyway thanks to the endless march of time.

“Don’t know where you wanna go? Or don’t wanna go?” Dean asked, turning to face him and Cas’s gaze was drawn to Dean’s like metal to a magnet.

Cas just shrugged, and looked back down at his lap. His brain was telling him it was a bad idea, they still had months left of school, and things would get awkward between them, but everything else in him was screaming that he might not have another chance and if he didn’t say it now, he probably never would and then he’d spend the rest of his life regretting this moment. He let out a loud sigh and dropped his head into his hands.

“Hey, it’s ok, Cas.” Dean consoled him as he rubbed a soothing hand over Cas’s back. “You don’t need to figure it all out right now.”

“I just wanna be with you.” Cas whispered into his hands, quiet enough that he wasn’t sure Dean could even hear it.

Dean’s hand had stilled on his back though, and the warmth from his hand there was bleeding through Cas’s shirt and into his skin, like it was soaking up the touch.

“What?” Dean breathed, because his heart was racing his chest like he’d run a race, and did Cas mean it that way?

Cas scrubbed his hands over his face before dropping them back to his lap and meeting Dean’s eyes again. Maybe it was something he saw there somewhere between the shock and confusion, something warmer, or maybe he was just tired of denying himself, but either way he reached out a hand to cup Dean’s cheek.

Dean swallowed, and Cas watched as his eyes darkened when he brushed his thumb along his cheekbone. And that was the thing that finally tipped him over the edge, because Dean wasn’t pushing him away, not yet, and maybe that meant something?

“I just wanna be with you, Dean.” Cas repeated, only slightly louder than before. “I don’t care where you go, I just wanna go too.”

“You do?” Dean breathed, and then bit his lip because _hell_ , that had come out a lot breathier than he’d meant it to, and why were his eyes dropping down to focus on Cas’s lips?

I mean, sure, he’d noticed them before, and maybe a time or two he’d wondered how they would feel and taste, and _ohmyfuckinggod, he’s such an idiot_. If Charlie or Jo were here right now they’d have smacked him upside the head, because how in the _fuck_ did he _not_ see this coming?

He must be a special kind of stupid, that was the only explanation, because suddenly all the little touches, and laughs, and times they’d hung out together were being cast in a new light, and he noticed things about them that he hadn’t let himself see before.

The way Cas’s eyes lit up whenever he saw him, and the goofy full body laugh he only ever had in reaction to Dean’s ridiculous antics; the way his nose would scrunch up and his eyes would crinkle. Jesus, the way Cas always seemed just a little more relaxed around him, like the walls he usually kept between himself and the outside world came tumbling down whenever Dean was near.

“Is that okay?” Cas asked and Dean came back to the present just in time to see Cas fold in on himself.

He’d pulled his knees up to his chest, and wrapped his arms around them. His chin had dropped down onto his knees, and he was looking anywhere but at Dean. He looked so small right then, and a wave of protectiveness crashed into Dean with all the force of a tidal wave.

Dean moved on the bed so that he was kneeling in front of Cas, and when those perfect blue eyes looked up into his, he didn’t even think, just went on instinct. His hands ended up buried in Cas’s mess of dark brown hair and he tugged his head back as he pitched forward to kiss him.

It took Cas a surprised second to react, but as soon as his brain caught up, he parted his lips and Dean’s tongue swept into his mouth and _Dean_ was kissing him. It was soft and gentle and at the same time it was desperate and heated and the paradox made his head swim.

Dean pulled back just far enough to take a steadying breath, and he rested his forehead against Cas’s before he finally answered.

“Yeah, Cas. That’s okay.” He replied softly.


End file.
